The Lonely Old Reprobate

I arrived in Cambodia on the 19th June 2025, I had booked a hotel in Phnom Penh in advance, and took a taxi from the airport to it from there. I had no idea what to expect, I had vague memories of Cambodia from my childhood in the 1960’s of Pol Pot, and the Khmer Rouge, the killing fields, and the atrocities committed there, but that was so long ago, and my memories were muddied by my youth at the time, and not being particularly interested in world affairs at the time.

I had seen the odd TV reports over the years, but I wasn’t particularly interested in them. It was too far away, a place I never imagined ever going to, because it was remote in my consciousness. I had settled on Cambodia because it was the only place I could have a chance of settling after the disappointment of not being able to stay in India which had been my dream.

I knew it is a Buddhist country, I knew it is home to Angkor Wat, but that was it really, so I was completely unprepared for anything I might find.

The taxi driver found the hotel on his GPS, and we set off to find it. Phnom Penh is a modern city, at least what I saw of it from the taxi, but as we got closer, we entered an area flooded by multicoloured neon lights, and as we descended into the area the driver had identified I realised this was no ordinary area, as the signage became a conglomerate of bars, massage parlours, phone shops and cheap restaurants.

What I didn’t realise at the time was the taxi driver was confusing the hotel I selected with a different hotel which had shared the same name previously, bang in the middle of the red light district.

Eventually I found my hotel on the quayside, where I had booked two nights, and it was there I decided to get out of Phnom Penh, as quickly as possible, but where was I going to go? All of a sudden I felt as though I was back on the plane in Manchester, with no plan, no idea, no safety net, thinking to myself ’Toni! What are you doing?’, but with no answer.

I studied flights out of Phnom Penh, and settled on the first available one I could find at a reasonable price, which turned out to be Siem Reap, a place I had never heard of. I just wanted to get away from Phnom Penh and the red light area as quickly as I could.

After the first night I started feeling rough. On the flight from Singapore a nice gentleman was coughing and snorting the entire way, so I knew he had passed whatever was making him ill onto me in the confines of the airplane cabin where there were no alternative seats available.

As soon as my flight to Siem Reap was confirmed I then looked for a hotel/guesthouse there, I found Sam So’s guesthouse and booked it online. I didn’t know it then, but I had made a choice which would change my life forever.

On the second night in Phnom Penh I knew I was ill, not seriously, but when you don’t speak the language, and you’re so far from anything familiar, it is daunting. For all my health issues with ABI, and long covid, I am never normally ill, but I had no idea how the infection would pan out, so it was a little unnerving, memories of the Bruce Willis film 12 Monkeys got into my head worrying me, could one man’s selfish carelessness trigger another pandemic?

When I eventually arrived at Phnom Penh airport, I was careful not to cough, I knew I was in the early stages of my illness, and I could control myself. I kept away from everyone else, and I had a face cloth I could cover my mouth with if I felt I needed to. The flight was delayed so I sent a message onto the hotel letting them know, and asked if some ginger tea, and salt to gargle with could be left in my room explaining my predicament, and was messaged back reassuring me it would be.

From the moment my booking was confirmed Theavy, (Mrs Sotheavy) kept in touch with me, which made me think I was going to a family run business, which was new to me, it made me feel comfortable, and that she said she would provide ginger tea relaxed any anxiety I might have felt.

Mrs Sotheavy sent me this photo showing what she had left in my room, fresh ginger, a fresh lime, a knife and salt for a mouthwash and to gargle with and a couple of tea bags next to a kettle.

t meant a lot for me to know someone cared enough to do this for me, I messaged back asking if my condition worsened, if it would be alright to eat in my room as I did not want to pass it to her staff, and she answered saying it would not be a problem.

I arrived at Siem Reap Airport on the 21st June, summer solstice, which I thought was a good omen, and waiting for me, for the first time on my adventure a driver, Sam So’s brother was waiting on my arrival. Everything I had was in my rucksack, and it was heavy, perhaps more so because the illness was working its way into my system, even though I thought I was feeling ok, I didn’t have to worry about finding a taxi from the airport to the guesthouse which was a relief after the shambles in Phnom Penh.

A little later I started feeling the onset of whatever it was I had caught, but I wasn’t coughing yet, and at that point I knew whatever it was, I wasn’t infectious, even though I knew it was coming. The drive was the best part of an hour, and boy was it hot.

The land around the airport is very flat, covered in paddy fields and single-species forestry, which I found out later are Cashew plantations, the airport road is remarkably flat and straight. Eventually, we came to a ’T’ Junction, and everything changed.

Now we were driving down a tree lined avenue, with stalls, and small businesses, there are temple entrances marked by large gated structures, and what was open land gave way to exotic tropical trees, and what on the airport road was devoid of people was suddenly populated, what was empty of traffic was suddenly busy, bustling with small time commerce, and every type of vehicle, motorbikes, mopeds, tuk tuks, cars, vans, lorries, everything it seems.

he closer to Siem Reap we approached, the busier it became, without the congestion I had seen approaching Phnom Penh. Before I knew it we were in the heart of the city, but it isn’t like any city I have known before.

I hate cities, and Phnom Penh confirmed that feeling, but Siem Reap is nothing like that. It is a conglomerate of towns and villages that seem to have been built in the jungle. There is no doubt that it is a city, but no building is higher than five storeys, the roads are wide, and visibility is good. The traffic in places is busy, but there is no congestion, not a bit like India, especially Delhi, and it moves on sedately by city standards.

Suddenly we were at the guesthouse, and Sam So’s brother Kampoul who had driven me from the airport carried my rucksack up to my room on the second floor, which I was grateful for. Although my illness hadn’t surfaced, it was doing its job, I was exhausted, add to that the fatigue connected to long covid, I was feeling wiped out.

I had a brief formal conversation with Mrs Soltheavy, she welcomed me saying she hoped I enjoyed my stay, but it wasn’t like anywhere else I had stayed, it was warm, and personal, she took my passport details and asked me if I wanted breakfast, I was booked in for one week and so I accepted the offer, then I went up to my room where I crashed on the bed.

That night I ate in my room, and checked out the locale online to see if I could find a market. The following morning I went out looking for what I thought was the market I had seen on the map I looked at, but I couldn’t find it. Instead I found Wat Bo Buddhist Temple a couple of streets from the guesthouse, and a stationery shop, which was good because that was something I needed for writing letters.

On June 23rd I had to message Theavy to let her know I thought I should isolate myself as by then, whatever it was, was peaking, and I felt really quite ill. The next 3 days I did not come out of my room, I felt rotten, and I did not want to spread my infection to any of the hotel staff, or anyone else for that matter.

I didn’t know what it was, but I definitely had an upper tract throat infection, my head was pounding, the arthritis in my neck was chronic, and I had a hacking cough. I had moments where I felt ok, but then it would come back, and of course the heat didn’t help, because I was sweating profusely anyway, I felt as though I was burning up.

I have never been one for taking cold showers but I was so glad to be able to just stand under it and let the cold water pour over me, cooling me down.

In truth looking back on that time, the whole 3 days is just a blur to me now, but through it all Theavy, who I kept referring to as Thiuli, kept in touch with me, checking with me, and asking how I was doing. So although I was isolated, I never felt it, I didn’t feel like I was alone.

On the fourth day, whatever it was broke, and I felt well enough to leave my room and eat breakfast at a table in the outside dining area. What I hadn’t realised at the time was how hard Siem Reap had been hit by the pandemic. Sam So told me the entire town was restructured. He told me that some streets which were traditionally only three meters wide had been flattened, and rebuilt, but this time they were constructed to be thirteen meters wide, to prevent further catastrophes being so devastating.

I don’t know if it was because of my awareness of not wanting to pass on my infection to those around me, or whether it is just a reflection of their nature, but a bond was forming which I wasn’t expecting or ready for.

Theavy spoke to me every morning as I ordered an omelette for my breakfast, her English is pretty good, so it was nice to be able to have conversation, although even now I think she doesn’t understand me completely, certainly I miss quite a bit of what she says to me.

I remember though asking if she knew of anywhere out of town, somewhere more rural where I could rent a house, possibly with a bit of land attached to it where I could grow my own food. It was something I attempted to do back in Clitheroe, but the truth was I couldn’t because there was never enough sunlight falling in the space I had, and most everything I tried, failed.

I told Theavy I was tired of travelling, age is catching up with me, and with the best will in the world, I knew it wasn’t viable for me to carry on as I had for much longer. I hadn’t seen so much of Siem Reap, I didn’t understand the language, and as for the written language Aksar Khmer, it is completely illegible to me, I can’t even tell where one word ends and the next one begins. But for all that, I found the people I met were very tolerant of my ignorance, and treated me with kindness, whatever age they are, and besides that, so many people have a rudimentary understanding of English.

The following day Sam So was at the guesthouse when I was having breakfast alongside Theavy, and the conversation turned once more to my enquiry about a house that I had mentioned in passing, but I didn’t expect it to develop further, but Sam So said he has a friend who has a place, and he was pretty sure it was available, and he would let me know the next day!

If I am honest, I would say I was taken aback by what Sam So and Theavy were saying, but my Lancashire cynicism prevented me from taking it seriously, my experience there was of too many conversations promising this and that, but going no further. So when Sam So turned up the next day telling me the property was in fact available, I was incredulous! Was I hearing properly? Was this really happening?

I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but he said we could go and have a look at it on Saturday, two days hence! He was serious! And I struggled to take it all in.

I had no idea what to expect, but the chance of being able to settle, to find a place to call home, irrespective of what it might be like gave me a glimmer of hope. I thought to myself, it didn’t matter what the place was like, it was a chance to start over, and besides, I wasn’t buying somewhere, it was a rental, and I wouldn’t have to stay if I didn’t like it. But it was a starting point if nothing else, and that was something.

During our conversations I had also mentioned to Theavy, that if I settled I would also like to buy a tuk tuk, and low and behold she told me we could go to a local showroom where I could check one out! It meant that within two or three days of getting back on my feet, not only was I going to check out a property, but also a tuk tuk as well! My head was spinning.

Prices for used tuk tuks vary as much as any secondhand vehicle for all the same reasons, but the cost of a new one is so cheap it made sense to me to look at a new one first. Sure, it was considerably more expensive compared to a used one, but I’m an artist, I am not a mechanic, and I would be clueless and vulnerable if I were to enter that arena. Besides which the local laws demand that any secondhand vehicle conforms to all sorts of regulations which are beyond my comprehension.

Saturday arrived, and I was excited, I had to extend my stay at the Guesthouse, but by this time, my defences were abandoned, Theavy, and Sam So are such warm and welcoming people, any such reticence had dissolved. I wasn’t dealing with business people anymore, Sam So and Theavy were my friends.

When we got to the house, I was amazed. It is a traditional wooden construction with living space larger than the property I had lived in Clitheroe, split into two apartments. The one I had come to view is the top floor, completely divorced from the ground floor and accessed by a substantial outdoor staircase.

The north facing elevation is terraced with a balcony extending around the east facing part of the building, which in itself was larger than the yard at the back of the house in Clitheroe, and inside the living area, I would say at a rough estimate is about 9 x 4 meters. To one side is a galley kitchen, a bathroom, and two sizeable bedrooms. There is no ceiling in the living area, allowing the hot air to rise, so cooling the inner space.

I fell in love with it immediately, and I could not believe my good fortune. The apartment is furnished, and after living in hotel rooms for the preceding months, the thought of being able to sit at a table and eat, lounge on a sofa, rather than a bed in limited space was most appealing.

The north facing elevation is terraced with a balcony extending around the east facing part of the building, which in itself was larger than the yard at the back of the house in Clitheroe, and inside the living area, I would say at a rough estimate is about 9 x 4 meters. To one side is a galley kitchen, a bathroom, and two sizeable bedrooms. There is no ceiling in the living area, allowing the hot air to rise, so cooling the inner space.

I fell in love with it immediately, and I could not believe my good fortune. The apartment is furnished, and after living in hotel rooms for the preceding months, the thought of being able to sit at a table and eat, lounge on a sofa, rather than a bed in limited space was most appealing.

The property was available  on a twelve month lease which I would have to sign, if I accepted the apartment, and so even though I still only had a tourist visa, I agreed on the spot.

I had asked Theavy if she knew of an agency that would help me extend my visa prior to buying my tuk tuk, and she told me that had been her job previously, and that it could be arranged easily, so I did not have to use one, as she remains in contact wither old colleagues, and that she could sort it out for me.

In a previous blog post before I left India, I spoke of my disappointment at having to leave because of visa restrictions.  When the penny dropped with me I researched other destinations I might consider, including Samoa, and Mexico. My original idea was to have a look at Kerala, on the south western are of India, home of the spice fields, and tropical jungles, where elephants and tigers still roam free, but that wasn’t to be.

In the end I settled on Cambodia. According to my research it was easier to gain residency, and I wanted somewhere I could settle. Of corse, I have mentioned, I knew very little about it, but I didn’t have much of a clue about anything when I set off from the UK.

In that post I said although I was distressed at leaving India because I had fallen in love with it, and I will never forget the experience of being there. But I had surrendered to flow, and I thought perhaps there was something waiting for me in Cambodia that I hadn’t considered, that maybe I would find something in Cambodia which would make me want to settle there.

Well, I’m here now, and I realise my instincts were right. Through Sam So, and Theavy, I have found a home, and a family that I love, in a country steeped in tradition, where I am welcome. 

I have Never felt more at home. People are kind. India does not compare. Nowhere I have ever been compares with Cambodia, everything about it fills me with warmth. This is a land where people are forgiving, accepting and open. Cambodia is my home.  

So here I am in Siem Reap, I have a new home, a new Tuk Tuk, and a family I can love, because without Theavy, and Sam So, I would still be wandering. I call them my guardian angels, and because of them I have a whole new life.